


Aversion

by writingdeluerann



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety Disorder, Football Player Niall, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Interrogation, Panic Attacks, Past Sexual Abuse, Sexual Abuse, mentions Zayn, sexual aversion disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-03 06:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1733870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingdeluerann/pseuds/writingdeluerann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Niall get's questioned by police after Zayn walks in and find's Niall's stepmum dead with Niall standing over her body. What the detective found out was far from what he expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aversion

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a 1D university fic that i'm writing. Certain things have been changed specifically for this scene, but other things are the same from in the fic. I'm no where near ready to release the fic, but when i took a side bar and wrote this short ficlet i decided i might as well post it. Hope you like it. 
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of sexual abuse, severe anxiety, suicide, and panic attacks.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All situations and how people are presented in this work is based solely on my imagination and do not depict how they actually are. I do not own One Direction and am not affiliated with them in anyway.

Niall tapped his fingers against the wooden table. He moved around in his seat trying to find some comfort in the chair he sat in, but found none. He looked around the room. The walls were white and bare with a large mirror behind him. He knew what that was for though. He had seen enough episodes of Law & Order to know that his interrogator was probably standing their now looking at him. His forehead began to sweat at the thought. He breathed in deeper and took longer breaths as he tried not to go into a panic attack while in the room. He knew it wouldn’t help him at all, but the fact that the room was smaller than on TV didn’t help either. It only made it worse.

He began vibrating in his seat wishing they would hurry up. He leaned back in his seat when finally the door opened and a middle-aged man walked into the room. The man was tall. He had dark black hair and he looked more like a teacher than an officer. This small observation didn’t make him feel better however and the smile that the officer stretched across his face as he sat down definitely did nothing either.

“My names Detective Willis. How are you?”

Niall sat up in his chair. He took his hands off the table and placed them in his lap. “I’m okay.” He let out a breath. “I’ve been better.”

“Good.” Detective Willis said. “How’s university? You a junior?”

“A sophomore.” Niall said as his heart thumped in his chest. He moved in his seat trying to find a comfortable spot, but couldn’t find one. “Majoring in sports medicine.”

“Play any sports?” The detective asked smiling.

Niall relaxed his shoulders and slowed the tapping of his fingers on his thigh. “Football.”

“That’s good. I played a bit of football when I was growing up.” Detective Willis began. “But rugby has always been my favorite. I always loved hitting people. It helped take out some of my aggression.”

Niall tensed his shoulders. He dropped his head and looked to the left as his breathing began to speed up. He pulled at the collar of his shirt trying to loosen it, but it did nothing for the sudden heat that hit him. Detective Willis noticed this, but said nothing. He simply leaned forward and continued with his questioning.

“Niall I know you said you played football.”

Niall nodded his head and placed his elbows on the table. He sat up in his seat trying to look confident, but he only succeeded in tapping his fingers more. He quickly removed them and ran his fingers through his blonde hair.

“But you look kind of small for a footballer. How tall are you? About 5’8 or 5’9?”

“5’8 160 pounds.” Niall said as he moved around in his seat again.

Detective Willis sat up straight in his chair and moved in closer. “What were you doing the day of Saturday January 5th?”

“I already told the other officer.” Niall stated voice shaky.

“I just wanted to hear it myself is all.” Detective Willis smiled at Niall and waited for the boy to start talking.

Niall looked down at his hands. “I was over my friend Zayn’s house. I needed to go back to mine to get some stuff so he took me.” Niall swallowed and looked to the left before quickly looking down again. “I went in and I didn’t see what I was looking for in my room so I went to look in my stepmum’s room, but when I did she was laying there dead. That’s when Zayn came in.”

Detective Willis wrote in his notes and looked back up. He leaned forward in his chair crossed his arms. “Now Niall I’m gonna be honest with you. I just want the best for you. You seem like a nice lad and I want to help you out.”

Niall swallowed hard and his breathing sped up as he looked at Detective Willis. He wished for water to help clear his mind, but he didn’t have any. He was uncomfortable, hot, and he knew the detective was on to him. He closed his eyes wishing he had just told the truth the first time, but he knew he couldn’t because no one would have believed him. Now though he knew this road wasn’t much better.

“Niall you’re a good size. You’re strong. I looked over the evidence and _it_ says that your stepmum was pushed down.” He stared at Niall for a moment letting the tension build and then continued. “We also know you were the only one to go by your house that day.” He lied.

“Detective look I–”

Detective Willis held up his hand. “–Now Niall it’s gonna be your time to talk in a minute, but right now it’s my time.” Detective Willis leaned forward some more. “This is what happened. You came home that day wanting to talk to your mum.” He paused. “We know you and her have been in a romantic relationship.”

“Sir that’s not true. I swe–”

“You’ve been seeing other girls and this upset her. She wanted it to be just you, but you didn’t want it that way. So when you came home she confronted you about it, but when things got heated and you snapped. You pushed her and it killed her.”

Niall began shaking his head furiously. “No that’s not what happened I swear I…” He faded off as tears came down his face. “I came home because I was looking for my anxiety medicine. When I found it in her room I was going to leave I swear, but she cornered me and I dropped it. I would never hurt her.” Niall said finally. “She…” Niall looked down at his hands. “She scares me.” He whispered.

Detective Willis leaned forward about to speak, but Niall continued.

“It started when I was little.” Niall begun. “It was after my mum died. Dad married her in under a year and then killed himself a few months later. That’s when she started…” He let out a shaky breath. “…touching me. I was so young I didn’t have a choice.” Niall pleaded looking up with tear stained eyes. “And no matter how much I asked her to stop she wouldn’t. I stopped letting Zayn come over. She didn’t want him to anyway. She didn’t want anyone to know.” Niall wiped his face. “The older I got the more it happened and then I just broke.”

Niall let out a dry laugh. “It’s called sexual aversion disorder. I started having panic attacks every time someone touched me like that. I can’t even hug a girl without feeling like I can’t breath. Everybody thinks I’m some type of womanizer because I date so many girls, but they don’t know…” Niall tapped his fingers on the table and looked down. “I haven’t even done anything with any girl my age. I’d have a panic attack before I could.”

Niall ran his fingers through his hair. “When I came home I was looking for my medicine and when I found it in her room she cornered me. She began kissing me on my face and rubbing on my chest. I didn’t know what to do. She backed me into the corner and started asking me about when I’d be coming home. I didn’t answer her. I just turned my head, but it made her mad. Then she put her hands down my pants and on my–I started losing breath and I couldn’t catch it. I still hadn’t taken my medicine. I panicked and I pushed her. She hit her head on the edge of the desk.” Niall sat up straighter and leaned forward. “I didn’t do it on purpose though I swear. It just happened so fast. I just…”

Detective Willis looked at Niall and ran his fingers through his hair. He hadn’t been expecting all that if he was being honest. He needed some air.

“I’ll be right back.” Detective Willis said and walked out of the room.

Niall dropped his head in his hands and pulled at his hair. He sucked in a breath and began to cry. He knew they were watching, but he didn’t care.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are appreciated.


End file.
